Thursday, June 14, 2012


This is an idea that's banging around in my head, but it's possibly a bad one. My theist friends, who in theory support my choice to believe different stuff, tend to in reality be annoyed or displeased if I so much as mention anything atheist related. So my idea is that, to placate them, I should post bible verses every day for a week, a week of the bible. Of course, this idea is in no way on the level. The idea is to pick bible verses, preferably from the gospels, but also from the entire new testament, that are grossly embarrassing to have to read as a liberal christian. For example:

Mark 16:16 He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.

So if I don't believe, I am damned. Can't blame this one on the old testament; because I don't believe I am damned to hell to suffer for eternity. What, that's not what damned means?

Luke 3:16 John answered, saying unto them all, I indeed baptize you with water; but one mightier than I cometh, the latchet of whose shoes I am not worthy to unloose: he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost and with fire:
3:17 Whose fan is in his hand, and he will throughly purge his floor, and will gather the wheat into his garner; but the chaff he will burn with fire unquenchable.

I am the chaff, therefore I will burn with an unquenchable fire. 

John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

3:36 He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.

I will know only god's wrath.

John 15:6 If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.

I am a withered branch and I will be burned. Can't tell me your book doesn't repeatedly tell me I should burn in hell for being an atheist.

But this gets easier! I'm stealing all these from the Skeptic's Annotated Bible

Matthew 10:33 But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
10:38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.

Here's a great verse point out that Jesus isn't here for peace, but to tear families apart, something that's actually happening today.

Matthew 19:29 And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.

Here's Jesus encouraging you to abandon your family and follow him for a reward.

My hardest part of this is taking quotes out of context, because it's really easy to protest, "well, you're reading that out of context." I'm trying to find the single lines that clearly say something bad without it being necessary that you read ten lines for it to make sense.

My plan, maybe, needs work, but if I can find the quotes, I might well do it...

No comments:

Post a Comment